1 00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:03,837 ♪ MTV ♪ 2 00:00:27,627 --> 00:00:31,898 Uh, your brain weighs almost nothing. 3 00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:34,234 What a dumbass. 4 00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:35,335 Shut up, Butt-Head! 5 00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:37,704 Weigh it again. 6 00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:41,207 I'm gonna think about something heavy, 7 00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:44,411 like rocks or something heavy. 8 00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:46,213 Wait a minute, Beavis. 9 00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:48,881 Check it out. 10 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:49,949 Whoa. 11 00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:52,219 Wow, that guy is cool. 12 00:00:52,319 --> 00:00:53,920 Yes, he is very cool. 13 00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:57,723 But look, it says, like, he did a crime or something? 14 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,759 And if you turn him in to the police, 15 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:04,997 you get, uh, a million dollars. 16 00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:07,800 Oh, so if you, like, find a guy who did a crime 17 00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:12,271 and turn him into the police, you get a million dollars? 18 00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:15,976 Beavis, I've got an idea. 19 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:20,480 Uh, sir, Beavis did, like, a crime. 20 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,148 I'm turning him in. 21 00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:23,482 That's right. Yeah. 22 00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:24,917 Yeah. Give us a million dollars. 23 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,752 Yeah. 24 00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:29,288 What crime did he do? 25 00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:31,457 Uh... 26 00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:36,729 Huh, uh, that one's a stumper, isn't it? 27 00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:39,332 Uh, sir, can you give us a minute? 28 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:52,011 Um, I spanked my monkey. 29 00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:53,614 That's not a crime. 30 00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:54,947 It's not? 31 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:55,982 Whoa! 32 00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:57,884 You know, that's cool. 33 00:01:57,885 --> 00:01:59,385 Are you sure, sir? 34 00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:01,987 I heard him doing it, and it was violent. 35 00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:06,025 Yeah, that's not a crime. 36 00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:09,763 Uh, can you give us another minute, sir? 37 00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,267 Tell him you stole a house. 38 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,501 Yeah, I don't know. 39 00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:16,635 If spanking your monkey is allowed, 40 00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:17,871 maybe that's allowed too. 41 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,872 Uh, yeah. 42 00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,307 That's true. 43 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:23,209 This is hard. 44 00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:31,550 We thought of a crime, sir. 45 00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:34,221 Yeah, I stabbed a tree. 46 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,489 Just get out of here, okay? 47 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,290 Hey, they look like derelicts. 48 00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:40,527 We should ask them if they know anything about all the graffiti 49 00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:42,162 around 26th Street. 50 00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:44,864 Uh, is graffiti a crime? 51 00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:45,865 Yeah. 52 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,100 Then Beavis did it. 53 00:02:47,101 --> 00:02:49,670 Yeah. That's right. 54 00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,971 Okay. Book him. 55 00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:53,673 Yes! 56 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,508 We're gonna be millionaires. 57 00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:01,081 I wish it didn't have to be this way. 58 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,715 I really do. 59 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,284 But sometimes in life, we have to protect our own heart, 60 00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:06,385 even if it means ripping it out of our chest. 61 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,422 - Yes! - Ooh, yeah! 62 00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:11,090 Hell yeah. 63 00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:13,392 That's how we do it around here. 64 00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:14,560 Yeah. 65 00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:16,930 America! Yeah. 66 00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:22,301 I bet we could do better than those guys. 67 00:03:22,302 --> 00:03:24,303 We should become hit men. 68 00:03:24,304 --> 00:03:25,304 Yeah, yeah, really. 69 00:03:25,305 --> 00:03:27,608 That's a good idea. Yeah. 70 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,443 How do you become a hit man, though? 71 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,911 Oh, I know. 72 00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:33,413 Maybe I'll ask at the unemployment office, yeah. 73 00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:36,415 See if they have any hit man jobs, you know? 74 00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:39,286 Uh, sure. 75 00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:41,520 Can't hurt to ask. 76 00:03:41,521 --> 00:03:43,422 You know, at my last job interview, 77 00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:45,858 the guy asked me to stop jiggling my leg. 78 00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:49,095 And I said, shut up, or I'm gonna kill you! 79 00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:52,398 But see, this time on this job interview, 80 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:55,034 that might get me the job, see? 81 00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,602 Oh, this is good. 82 00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:57,737 This is good. Yeah. 83 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,074 And I'll tell you something. 84 00:04:01,175 --> 00:04:05,545 If I was a hit man, I would be the model of professionalism. 85 00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,813 And I would even clean the grease traps 86 00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,848 if they wanted me to, you know? 87 00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:12,486 Uh, there aren't any grease traps 88 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,555 when you're a hit man, dumbass. 89 00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:17,991 Yeah, there are. They're on the grill. 90 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,827 You're thinking of Burger World. 91 00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:22,828 Oh, yeah, yeah. 92 00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,999 Yeah, but, um, you know, I could do all my hits 93 00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:27,566 in Burger World, you know? 94 00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:30,135 Mix business with pleasure, you know? 95 00:04:30,136 --> 00:04:32,139 Oh, you know what else, um? 96 00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:34,307 Like, if I ran out of bullets or something, 97 00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:36,510 I'd give 'em, like, a triple cheeseburger 98 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,511 with a side of Macho Fries, 99 00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:42,048 and then they just die of heart disease, you know? 100 00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:44,150 I got time. 101 00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:46,152 Also, like, if you were a hit man, 102 00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:48,487 and you didn't wanna come in to work one day 'cause, like, 103 00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:52,359 it was the weekend, you could just say your grandma died. 104 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,694 And then if they said they were gonna go check, 105 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:58,064 you could just kill her. 106 00:04:58,065 --> 00:05:00,333 Oh, yeah. Oh, wait a second. 107 00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:02,434 I don't like that, Butt-Head. That's messed up. 108 00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:05,205 You said you have to work on weekends as a hit man? 109 00:05:05,206 --> 00:05:07,539 Uh, I think you have to work 110 00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:10,244 whenever someone needs killing. 111 00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:14,213 Uh, yeah, this might not work out. 112 00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:16,716 It was a beautiful dream. 113 00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:25,391 Felony vandalism. 114 00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:27,192 That's a serious charge. 115 00:05:27,193 --> 00:05:28,862 That's right, sir. It sure is. 116 00:05:28,963 --> 00:05:31,698 We're gonna get a million dollars, yeah. 117 00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:33,399 Damn right. 118 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,935 Well, I promise you, Mr. Beavis, as your lawyer, 119 00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:38,172 I will do everything I can to get you off. 120 00:05:38,272 --> 00:05:40,173 Well, okay, I guess. 121 00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:43,476 But I'd rather it was with a chick, you know? 122 00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:46,045 Court is now in session for the trial 123 00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:47,980 of the State of Texas versus Beavis. 124 00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:50,316 Prosecution, you may call your first witness. 125 00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:52,685 There's been a whole lot of graffiti on the side 126 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,521 of the Maxi Mart and all over the neighborhood-- 127 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,690 a lot of gang tags and obscenities. 128 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,526 Whoa, cool. 129 00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,261 Yeah, the crime I did kicks ass. 130 00:06:01,262 --> 00:06:02,628 Yeah. 131 00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:04,296 You do cool crimes. 132 00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:06,266 Yeah, yeah, I do. Yeah. 133 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:10,903 Um, I do lots of cool crimes, Your Honor. 134 00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:13,572 Can those 12 guys over there hear me? 135 00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:16,075 Did you hear that? Lots of cool crimes I do. 136 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,448 He told me to my face that he did it. 137 00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:23,784 He confessed. 138 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,152 But isn't it true that you railroaded him 139 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,387 into that confession? 140 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,259 Rail. 141 00:06:32,359 --> 00:06:34,093 My lawyer is a perv. 142 00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:41,534 The defense calls Mr. Butt-Head to the stand 143 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,235 as a character witness. 144 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,971 You've been friends with Beavis your whole life, 145 00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:47,206 is that correct? 146 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:50,409 Uh, he's not really my friend. 147 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,846 But you lived together for 20 years. 148 00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:56,449 I'd like to take the 69th. 149 00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,859 The defense calls Mr. Beavis to the stand 150 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,560 in his own defense. 151 00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:09,862 Mr. Beavis, we've heard a lot here today. 152 00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,197 And I bet you're eager to finally 153 00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:13,033 tell your side of the story. 154 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,967 Eh. This is boring. 155 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,670 How long is this gonna take? 156 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,204 I'm just here to get my million dollars. 157 00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:19,538 Yeah. 158 00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:21,107 What million dollars? 159 00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:23,743 You know, my million dollar reward 160 00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:27,179 for turning myself in for doing a crime. 161 00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:29,181 There's no reward, Mr. Beavis. 162 00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:32,151 If this court finds you guilty, you don't get any money. 163 00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:33,886 What? 164 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,321 You go to jail. 165 00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:37,289 Now, that sucks. 166 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,859 Um, I have one more question for the judge. 167 00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:41,729 Proceed. 168 00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:43,929 Um, is spanking your monkey against the law? 169 00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:45,598 'Cause they told me it wasn't, 170 00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:48,968 and now it's just not as fun anymore. 171 00:07:51,739 --> 00:07:55,543 And so, Mr. Beavis, you didn't do any of this graffiti? 172 00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:56,710 No, sir. 173 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,011 In fact, you couldn't have, 174 00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:01,014 because you don't even know your letters. 175 00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:06,085 I'd just like to state for the record that reading sucks. 176 00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:08,587 The only reason you confessed to the crime 177 00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:10,756 was you mistakenly believed you would 178 00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:12,858 be paid one million dollars. 179 00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:14,593 Do I get a million dollars? 180 00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:17,431 'Cause I'm still not 100% clear on it. 181 00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:18,599 No. 182 00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,967 Eh, that sucks. 183 00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:22,969 The defense rests. 184 00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:27,473 Your Honor, we have just come into a new piece 185 00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:29,475 of evidence we'd like to enter into the record. 186 00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:30,744 I'll allow it. 187 00:08:33,447 --> 00:08:36,081 Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. 188 00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:39,252 Yeah, we did do graffiti. Yeah. 189 00:08:39,253 --> 00:08:40,787 Oh, yeah. 190 00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:45,057 Uh, let the record show that it's a butt. 191 00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:46,558 Yeah, I forgot about that. 192 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:49,662 Um, Your Honor, was this in 2024? 193 00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:50,931 I was drunk that year. 194 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,166 I don't remember barely any of it. 195 00:08:56,203 --> 00:09:00,139 We, the jury, find the defendants guilty. 196 00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,308 Wait a second. 197 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,409 Who's the defendants? I thought we did it. 198 00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:04,644 Yeah. 199 00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:07,347 Someone tell her she got the wrong guys. 200 00:09:07,348 --> 00:09:09,616 At least these guys know what's up. 201 00:09:09,617 --> 00:09:12,118 Yeah, really. 202 00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:15,988 Beavis, we're gonna get a million dollars. 203 00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:18,192 Our plan worked. Yeah.